The self-help industry lied to me!!
It told me that I could be anything and anyone I want, that I could amass great wealth and that if I worked hard towards my goal, that it would all happen.
I remember when I really started getting into the self-development concepts. It was back in 2007. On one of those January weekend’s I actually skipped a potentially epic party to attend a Speaker’s Training Conference at the KICC in Nairobi, Kenya, which was being presented by this Ugandan gentleman. He had a very complicated name, I’d never remember it if you paid me! One thing I do recall about him was how impeccably dressed he was. He was always in a 3-piece suit and tie, and it was obvious they were tailor made.
I was terribly excited about the conference! The idea that I could come, see and conquer the world if only I could believe in myself and my potential. The beautiful thoughts that I could go out there and become The Greatest at whatever I chose and whoever I would become would literally sit inside my mind, as I drowned in beautiful dreams of travelling the world, changing lives while earning tons of money!
The inside joke they didn’t let me in on is the massive boulders, walls and fortresses I would discover on the road to riches and success beyond my wildest dreams!
The Conference was awesome by the way. But even with all the valuable content I received that weekend, I didn’t do very much with it… well actually I did. I enrolled in Toastmasters for a total of 5 months, did my first speech, and never returned!
So I have basically spent years and years trying to figure out why millions of us never truly get started with our big dreams, and even if we do, we do not have the stamina to follow through. So here are the 10 things that the motivational gurus never told me.
1. I Would Have Decades Of Old Thinking To Work On
Yep! I would still be clouded by old thinking patterns of self-doubt and other numerous insecurities!
2. My Mind Will Do Everything It Can To Stop Me
As it turns out, the mind is never happy about internal change, so it will convince you that trying anything new is a horrible mistake! The fear that sets in does the job finally, and you end up not going for your goals!
3. Nobody Is Going To Care… For A Very Long Time
Yes, people will cheer you on at the beginning, but the cheering squad disappears, very quickly.
4. I Must Create A Self Support System
When no one cares, it becomes imperative, downright crucial to become your own cheerleader, and to always have your own back when times get hard!
5. One Size Does Not Fit All!
You have to find a formula that works for you. Just because someone tells you to wake up every-day at 5 am, and work for 18 hours a day, does not mean that it will work for you. Find what does, and remain consistent with it!
6. I Will Be Alone For Long Stretches On My Journey
Yes indeed. No matter how many people you discover who can relate to your journey, in the end, the stretch is yours to walk, and nobody else’s
7. It Is The Single Most Frustrating Experience I Will Ever Go Through
Ain’t that the truth. And it still is. Sometimes the feeling chokes me, and sometimes I just don’t want to get out of bed. That’s the reality.
8. I Need To Do A Boat Load Of Research
That’s what they don’t tell you about you. It is not only about going out there and doing your thing, it is also about doing a SWOT analysis of yourself and also studying your craft, and the trends and staying on top of your game!
9. I Will Absolutely Hate Myself At Times
Yes, especially when you try and try again and it seems to always fall flat.
10. I Will Think About Ending My Life At Least Once!
I had back in 2008. I even planned it out. Thankfully I did not go through with it!
Yes, it gets dark. It gets really scary too, because there are days when you have absolutely no idea whether what you are pursuing can get you anywhere, or whether you will start seeing any visible progress anytime soon.
But something utterly remarkable happens if you decide to stick through this journey:
You will start to develop a level of resilience that you have never discovered ever before. This only happens for one reason: when you decide that there is a much deeper factor that is pushing you to keep going, one that you will not let go of for one minute, you will find that you can withstand frustrations, pressures and anxieties that would have previously led you to give up a long time ago!
Here are the 10 amazing outcomes I have discovered along this journey of mine.
- You start to gain more and more confidence in yourself
- You actually start believing that you can do anything you set your mind to
- People start to admire your tenacity. You didn’t quit!
- You can quickly get yourself out of negative mind states that would keep you stuck for days.
- Your creativity starts to flow so much easier, like a river that has has burst its banks
- You find yourself working on your goal more. No longer because of obligation, but because of sheer joy with all the ideas you have
- You start to meet people who share the same sentiments as you do, and the ones who do not fit your mental process slowly fade away
- You no longer cower when faced with criticism
- You are enlightened to new and much healthier mental and emotional states
- It finally sinks into your mind, that the only person who was stopping you all along, was you.
All in all, I am thankful to the self-empowerment industry, which I too am a part of. It started me off on the idea that I could be and do more with my life, that I have a real purpose on this planet, and that I should spend my days living for that purpose. Motivational speakers, gurus, etc. are there for one thing only: to plant the seeds in your mind. It is your job to water them and nurture the soil until they start to germinate and grow. It is not their job. This is a journey of discovery!
Question: What has been your journey to success been like so far? I would love to know. Do comment below this article, or share it on Facebook, Twitter or Google+!