Love Yourself: The Beginner’s Guide

love yourself and self love

In this article, I want to help you learn why the term “love yourself” or self love is not just some cliche to use just for feel good purposes.

So here’s my guide to you.

I have created 4 P’s to break down this Love Yourself Beginner’s Guide.

But before I get to the 4 P’s of self love, let’s first break down what this concept is and why it is so important.


What is Self Love?

Doing a quick Google search of the term brings up the following definition:

self love, love yourself


Self love, or loving yourself is essentially about caring for your own well being, not to be mistaken for narcissism!

You truly matter to you!

You respect, trust and honour who you are at all times!

You are not willing to ever give this up for anyone. Whoever does not understand this covenant with yourself will not be a major part of your life for too long.


Why Is Self Love So Important?

It is important because we must start trusting and believing in who we are!

It is vital to:

  • have unshakable faith in the decisions we make
  • approve of ourselves, and not need anyone else’s validation
  • uplift and encourage ourselves as often as we possibly can
  • immerse ourselves in good energy
  • assert our self worth
  • be comfortable, confident and happy in your own skin


Now that we understand what self love is all about and why it is important, here are the 4 essential P’s to loving yourself wholly!



love yourself and self lovePERSONAL POWER

This is our first component of self love to dig into.

Have you ever encountered someone who’s personality is simply contageous?

What is it about them that attracted you so much to them?

You probably realized that this was a powerful person in your midst.

They possessed qualities that you really admired, and secretly, you wished you had the same qualities.

Perhaps it was in the way they spoke, or their ability to listen keenly and know exactly what to say…

Maybe it was how they walked into a room and commanded the attention of the crowd.

This is personal power!

Having the strength, confidence and courage to be who you truly are, and to assert yourself as such no matter where you are or who you are with is true personal power!

It has nothing to do with gaining control of other people, or amassing wealth.

It is about a daily cultivation of the strengths you possess, by first understanding that you DO have incredible traits about yourself that you can turn into very powerful and significant virtues.

So take stock of what you are good at, what you love, and turn those things into strengths that you can work on every single day.

These will certainly increase your confidence and self-belief, and soon enough, just like the people you admire, you too will be someone with immense personal power, with great positive influence on not just yourself but others.



Self love, loving yourself is primarily about taking care of yourself!

The problem with our society is that we are taught that looking out for yourself is a selfish trait, and this is something that I have noticed in most of the women I know!

The number of women who do not know how to say “no” is astounding.

There is a deep-seated belief that many of us possess that choosing yourself before others is almost sinful, like it is the highest form of arrogance and self-centeredness.

This could not be further from the truth!

You cannot get water from a dried up tap!

The tap would have to have a source of water for you to draw from, wouldn’t it?

So what makes you think you can give and give and give, and when you run dry, still believe you have more to give?

Self love = personal care, and when you care for yourself, you can give generously to others, because you have a large reserve.

But there will be times when you have to say “no”!

There will be times when you have to separate yourself from people who drain you!

There will be times when you have to take time to rest, even if you think you don’t have time, you better make the time, because if you don’t, you will break down!

Personal care is an extremely necessary component of self love!



The choices we make everyday are either helping us become better human beings or are hindering us.

My mother always reminds me, that the little choices I make every single day will compound into the results I have in my life, and they will show… like sore thumbs!

A person who loves themselves makes very conscious choices every day.

They have a preference for who they will surround themselves with,

They know what they will do and say each day to nourish their spirit, mind and body.

They are deliberate about the decisions they make.

Most of us are not this way.

We unconsciously make choices everyday that lead to unhappiness, dissatisfaction, anger, resentment, anxiety, frustration… and eventually deep regret.

Loving yourself means you have to be conscious of the choices you make every day, because it is these choices that are the sum of the life we want to create.

So love yourself enough to be aware of the actions you take, and the direction that these actions are going to lead you to. Will your choices lead to happiness, or will they lead to destruction?



You may not believe me but loving yourself means taking full responsibility for where you are in your life right now.

There is no way you are loving yourself when you blame others.

Blame is a form of projecting your fears onto others and circumstances, and not fully accepting your role in what led you to the person you have become.

Personal responsibility is a MUST in your journey to love yourself, because you are saying “I am strong enough to accept where I am, and I am also powerful enough to propel myself even further!”


Personal responsibility = Self Acceptance = Self Love


Acknowledge where you are.

Don’t blame anyone for it!

And if you are unhappy with where you are, then choose to do something about it!

Make better choices!


If you choose to use this guide, remember to be gentle with yourself in this journey!

Be kind to you! Do not allow your mind to be flooded with criticism and thoughts of doubt for too long!

Understand that this is a journey!

It is going to take time to unravel, to learn, to evolve and to ultimately gain wisdom and inner peace, but this journey is no doubt, 100% worth the time and sacrifice!


Did you enjoy this article?

If so do share it with someone who you think should read it!

I would also love to read your comments about your own definition of loving yourself or self love!