Is there something in your life that you are willing to defeat your fear to accomplish? Then that is what your push factor is.
I have a fear of needles. I can’t point out the root of the fear. I just know I’ve had it since I was a kid. I absolutely freak out when confronted with the news that a needle must be involved to complete a medical-related test I have to undergo. Depending on the mood I’m in, I will either talk myself into being calm, close my eyes tightly and let it happen, or I will completely break down and become totally irrational. I make it seem like a knitting needle is about to be get shoved through my arm. So naturally I get even more distressed and I burst into tears. I’m 33 years old. A 5 year old could walk in the room and laugh hysterically at my problem.
But while I am sitting through this fear, I know I have to get a jab, or have my blood tested for whatever reason I went there for. I understand, even through that terrible fear that I am blowing things way out of proportion, and that it’s nothing like I imagined. And 99% of the time, I never feel this pain I imagined.
My push factor in this scenario has always been, and will always be, that this must be done for a greater good and best of all, it’ll all be done in a matter of seconds. I also high-five myself inside when I don’t cry.
That’s fear for you; an irrational thought or series of thoughts that we have given incredible power to. Based on how we have dealt with certain uncomfortable situations and things in the past, we have allowed that past data to dictate how we shall deal with present and future scenarios that are similar.
Our fears will rule us forever if we do not have a really urgent and powerful reason why we must push through the fear.
I read in an article somewhere that we should not run away from fear. That we must actually sit with it and let is stir in our souls. We must feel its discomfort and have a conversation with it, asking ourselves why we allow this fear to control us, and reminding ourselves as we sit in this fear that it is not real. It is imagined fear, and it is only in doing that which we fear that we tame this fear and turn it into triumph.
So if you know for the next couple of months you are going to have to do things you are not comfortable with, like stand up in front of people and speak to them, or you have been chosen to lead a team, or you have a new sales job that requires you to talk to people about your product, then I encourage you to find push factors that will take you beyond your fear.
Yes, even you who still can’t ride that roller coaster just yet 😉
Find out the most powerful and urgent reasons why you have to overcome these fears, and what you are going to do every day to tackle those fears, be it through practice, going back to school, changing certain behaviours you have like the way you talk to yourself, then do that. Do it consistently enough, and what you fear will start to change into small victories.
As for my needle issue, I’m still working on it. I cry far less than I used to and that’s a plus for me. Baby steps!