“Reinvent yourself over and over and over and over and over until you find home. There is no timeline for the soul.” ― Malebo Sephodi
Reinventing yourself is kind of like watching one of those shows where someone gets a complete makeover of their home.
It’s very exciting stuff, knowing that your drab house will be turned into a magnificent mini-palace!
And to top it off? You’re not the one who’s gonna do all that heavy lifting!
A whole crew sponsored by the TV show will be doing all the work for you while you’re relocated away from the work that’s about to begin to turn your humble abode into a homely heaven.
Then you show up weeks/months later and voila…
Your perfect house is done for you to move in, complete with brand new furniture and other incredible features that your neighbor would give his arm and three legs for.
The only difference between your house and you is that you are the one who’s going to have to do 95% of the work.
Yes you can go for therapy, you can hire a trainer, join a support group, but ultimately, it takes you showing up every single day for the transformation that you expect in yourself!
Here’s the truth, the only reason why you would want to put yourself through these major life changes is because
1) You are so unhappy and dissatisfied about your current circumstances that things must change, or
2) Life has thrown you a major curveball that is forcing you to change your current circumstances.
I have found that these are usually the two most crucial reasons why people reinvent themselves.
So if you are serious as a heart attack about it, then this guide can help you understand what it’s going to take for you to come out successfully to the other side.
Allow me to continue to use the house makeover analogy.
You will need to consider 4 major changes you will undertake:
1. Create Your New Vision
2. Destroying your house… at least the components that have to be destroyed
3. Replacing parts
4. Re-building your house
You are going to have to seriously consider how much of your life you are going to have to destroy and re-build.
That’s right… bulldozing your current environment, behaviors and habits because of the liability they have become to replace and build completely new circumstances that will fit in with this brand new life you have envisioned for yourself.
1. Create Your New Vision
Personal reinvention is about being deliberate!
Just like you have a blueprint, which is your vision for the house you want, you need a brand new vision of the person you want to become.
So which are the most pressing aspects of your life that you want to change?
Is your health deteriorating over the years due to bad habits and choices?
Are you deeply in debt?
Are you burning crucial bridges faster than you can replace your underwear?
Is your marriage falling apart?
Are you deeply unhappy in your career?
Do you need to make a major change in your environment?
Use This 4-step Method to Create Your Ultimate Vision
a) Identify an aspect of your life that has to urgently change because it is no longer an option, it must be done.
b) Write down the reasons WHY this situation has to change
c) Go into detail about the consequences if you allow this part of your life to remain as is
d) Create in great detail what your life would look like if you actually fixed that particular issue in your life.
– whose life will change because of it? (your children, your better half, etc)
– what are the things you will be able to do because of this triumph?
– how much of an impact will it make on your self esteem and self belief?
Once you have clearly outlined which part of your life to focus on, you will have to look critically into the second part of this guide to reinvent yourself.
2. Destroying Your House
Now that you have created your new plan, you will immediately see what is of absolutely no use, what has rotted so badly that it has to go, and what must be replaced.
And yes, I am still talking about your life!
Just like your house contractor showing you how much mold and gunk that has formed all over your walls which has accumulated over the years, you’re going to have to be very honest with yourself about the rot that has piled up in your life.
You want to do this with your therapist, a life coach or someone close to you (that you trust deeply) who is objective enough to tell you the truth.
You will not like it but it will be more beneficial for you than you can imagine.
This is the part of the makeover that is ugly, takes a lot of time and is the biggest reason why people do not go much further than this point.
These issues could be:
– terrible habits (health, financial, family and friends, spouse)
– consistent bad life choices
– systems you depended on that have broken down (employment/business, social environment, etc)
Being brutally honest with yourself about the things that are no longer working that must be dealt with, will be the foundation of the architecting of your life.
Identify these major problems and create a plan around which ones must be destroyed.
3. Replacing Parts Of Your House
In keeping with the house theme, you know that after you have destroyed the walls, windows, doors, tiles, etc, you have to replace them with new ones.
Treat your own reinvention the same way.
Now that you have identified what doesn’t work and what has to go, you now have to figure out what needs to be replaced.
– changing bad habits with healthier ones
– making better life choices and decisions
– getting rid of bad influences in your life and seeking new and powerful influences that will help to achieve this goal of self reinvention
Yes, all this is much easier said than done, and nobody said this is work you can get done in under a year.
I may be comparing reinvention of yourself to destroying and re-building a house but this is a lifetime project.
You have to do the work!
4. Re-Building Your House
Now this is where most people give up, and it’s understandable why.
This is not only where most of the work is, but where the pain and struggle lies.
Everything will be shaken to its core, from the relationships you currently have to your employment/business life.
On top of all this, you have to show up everyday to constantly do the inner work, clean up the mess and do the necessary healing required to keep moving forward
Ask yourself these very crucial questions on the road to rebuilding yourself:
– Who do you have to forgive (including yourself) to move past certain pain?
– What systems (habits and behaviors) do you have to create on a daily basis to reinforce the changes you are making?
– Who do you have to cut loose from your life?
– What kind of support do you need in your corner? Because you cannot do this alone. I can guarantee you that in this journey you will get stuck and you will need help
– How will you deal with setbacks, non-starters and straight up failures along your adventure?
My hope is that this beginner’s guide makes it clearer and easier for you to identify what you have to do in order to truly reinvent yourself!